First Snow

Yesterday was our first Ottawa snowfall. Since Liam was too little last year to care about weather, I was eager to introduce him to the snow yesterday. I dressed him up around mid-morning – he looked hilariously cute. I enjoyed a good solo laugh as he stomped around the house in his giant blue suit and new winter boots (at moments like that, I really wish another adult were around to enjoy with me the humour of the situation!). I was hoping Liam would be intrigued by the snow, but he seemed unimpressed. He noticed it, and tasted it, but was more interested in trying to run towards the road. Our dog Freya was far more excited about the snow than Liam was. She ran, rolled, and did her strange bucking maneuvers (which Brendan calls rodeo jumps), enjoying herself thoroughly. Liam got a kick out of Freya’s antics, as he usually does.

We came in after a short time of walking around outside (mostly Liam walking toward the road and me carrying him away from it), and I had a happy feeling of anticipation as I imagined the day when my little boy and I would actually play outside, and come in with rosy cheeks, to clutch mugs of hot chocolate, and wipe runny noses without crying. One day. But I’m certainly not wishing Liam to grow up any faster than he is. My baby is almost 15 months old and already looking like such a big boy:

I’ve noticed a marked increase in his development in the last month. He calls the dog by her name, which he pronounces, “Vey,” and says “num-num” almost constantly (this boy loves to eat!). He is remarkably agile and is an adept runner and climber. He’s also very curious, and enjoys opening cupboards and spreading their contents all over the floor. He loves books and has the endearing habit of climbing into my lap to read stories. I rarely get through the whole book before he’s on to the next thing, but even a five second story time cuddle is nice (especially now that he’ll actually look at the book without smashing it with both hands, as was his former way). 

Stealing a kiss before he runs away!

He is an unabashed Blankie Boy, and although Blankie rarely leaves the house, it follows Liam nearly everywhere while we’re home. If he happens to forget about Blankie while engrossed in something else – a toy, or a book, or a kitchen utensil – he usually recognizes his oversight and goes to fetch his friend. I had made up my mind before Liam was born that I didn’t want to foster an attachment to a big dirty stinky blanket, but alas – the blanket won. I try to wash it often, but it’s still covered in dog hair most of the time (come to think of it, nearly everything in this house is covered in dog hair most of the time…).

Liam's favourite perch - notice Blankie at his feet

The weather forecast says eleven degrees on Saturday, so it doesn’t look like this first snow will last. That’s ok though – it’s still early. There will be plenty more snowfalls in the coming months and many opportunities for Liam to enjoy his first Canadian winter – maybe some of Freya’s enthusiasm for the season will rub off on him!

Proverbs 31

The first reading at Mass today was from Proverbs 31:

“A good wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels.

The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain.

She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.

She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands.

She puts her hands to the distaff, and her hands hold the spindle.

She opens her hand to the poor, and reaches out her hands to the needy.

Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates.”

After the reading, Brendan whispered to me: “That describes you! Especially the part about working with flax!” I had to stifle my “this-is-not-an-appropriate-time-to-be-laughing” laughter for a good couple of minutes. He said this because I’ve recently become obsessed with healthy food, and flax is one of the new additions to our diet. I think he also said it just to make me laugh.

Although I was honoured by my husband’s praise (because it was a compliment, flax joke aside!), I know that becoming the Proverbs 31 woman is a long journey. She is trustworthy, noble, hard working, generous, faithful to God and to her family – when I think of this woman, I imagine someone with great strength of character who does not back away from challenges, but meets them courageously, unafraid to give of herself for the good of others. When I was a teenager I noticed that my mom would never sit down to dinner until everyone else had what they needed. If there was not enough of something to go around, she would be the one to go without. I remember assuming that this kind of generosity was part of motherhood. When you’re a mom, you give. In my teenage way, I thought this was something you just grow into spontaneously. My mom’s self-giving seemed so effortless that I figured it was just something that came naturally when you assumed the responsibility of looking after other people. Now that I’m a wife and mother myself, I realize that generosity, even when it comes naturally, is not always effortless. I don’t think the Proverbs 31 woman just woke up one morning ready for the task of caring for a husband and children, working at her craft to provide for her family, feeding the poor, honouring the Lord in everything she does – she had to work at these virtues. And although the idea of so much hard work can be daunting at times, it’s encouraging to think that with effort (and grace, of course), we can become the people we want to be. Every small decision I make to be generous, to work hard, to meet the needs of others, molds me into the kind of woman I want to be. A woman like the wife in Proverbs 31 – a woman like my own mother.

Remembering

A year ago today, Brendan, Liam and I set off for Scotland. What an adventure awaited us! Remembering is often bittersweet, and today I feel the tug of nostalgia. I miss Scotland and what it meant for us – the people we met, our little flat on Morris Terrace, the town of Stirling with all its quirks and charms, the freedom to travel, the sense of adventure, the season of life we spent there… I’m happy to be home and am enjoying life here, but I do miss Scotland.

Since coming home I have promised repeatedly to continue updating the blog – a promise which I have neglected to fulfill. Despite all our travels and various weekly activities in Stirling, it seems the pace of things here supersedes what we lived abroad. Though the blog has been virtually silent, our adventures at home continue! Here’s a snapshot of our activities over the last 5 months:

June:

We returned from Stirling on May 27^th and spent the end May and beginning of June with my parents. Our tenants moved out on June 1^st, but we took our time to move back in. The rest of the month was spent settling back into our home and preparing for my sister Leah’s wedding. We also celebrated our second anniversary on June 27^th.

July:

Leah & Chris were married on July 1^st – a highlight of the summer, to which I dedicated an earlier post. After the wedding, we went to New Brunswick, where we spent 6 weeks at various cottages and homes of family and friends. It was a fantastic holiday. We both really enjoyed being able to live in with our Marshall family for more than a few days and to spend some quality time with friends we normally see only twice a year. We also had a chance to spend a couple of days with friends we met in Scotland, who were home in the States for a holiday. It was nice to reconnect and to continue the friendship we began in Stirling. Milestone of the month: Liam took his first steps on July 15^th!

August:

We came home from New Brunswick mid-August and continued the process of settling into our condo. Brendan celebrated a birthday on the 22^nd. He also finished his Energy Management dissertation and dove headlong into the job hunt!

September:

On September 6^th, our little guy turned a whole year old! We had a birthday dinner for him at my parents’ place with grandparents, great-grandparents, godparents, and aunts and uncles. Mid-month we had a new kitchen put into our condo, and completed the last of the unpacking. At the end of September, Brendan’s job-hunting efforts yielded fruit: he was offered a position at a private communications firm in Ottawa. We were both pleased (and relieved) that he found something. Although his work is not directly related to energy, there’s the possibility to move in that direction, which Brendan is eager to explore.

October:

October has seen two most significant events: on the 6^th, the birth of Jessica & Joel’s (my sister and brother-in-law) daughter, Anna Carolyn Genest; and on the 29^th, Brendan’s sister Elizabeth’s marriage to Chris Jenkins. Wonderful ways to begin and end a month!

Anna was born just after midnight on the 6^th, a beautiful precious bundle, weighing all of 6 lbs 5oz. We went to see her in the afternoon and fell in love instantly. Her first family function was Leah’s birthday dinner, three days later. She drew adoring glances from everyone, including her big tough uncles (my twin brothers), who both have a soft spot for babies. She partied with us again on Thanksgiving, sleeping in pair after pair of willing arms. We all love having an infant in our midst!

Chris and Elizabeth’s wedding was another joyous occasion. The festivities began on Thursday night, with a bridal party outing to The Blacksheep Inn in Wakefield. We went to hear a band from Newfoundland called The Once, which we all really enjoyed. Friday afternoon was the rehearsal, followed by a lovely dinner at Algonquin College’s International Restaurant hosted by Chris’ parents. On Saturday morning, the bride and her entourage had their hair and makeup done at a salon by the hotel where the Marshall clan was staying, and continued our preparations in Elizabeth’s room. I had the privilege of helping Liz fasten the back of her dress – my third sister to be robed in bridal splendor! It was an honour to stand by her that afternoon. The wedding ceremony was simple and beautiful. Chris and Liz have a relationship of deep respect and true companionship – I’m certain their life together will be rich and fruitful.

After the ceremony, we went to a cocktail reception hosted by an aunt and uncle of Chris’, who live down the street from Blessed Sacrament, where the wedding took place. Photos were taken at the Museum of Nature, followed by dinner and dancing at the same location. It was a great evening - moving, entertaining, and fun. I’m looking forward to seeing the newlyweds again to ask them about their impressions of the day. It seemed to unfold perfectly – a beautiful first step in their new relationship.

Yesterday Brendan and I invited his parents and aunts, uncles, and cousins who had travelled from NB to our place for lunch. That evening, we hosted Owen, Amy and Eloise for dinner. It was nice to be able to spend time with family after the wedding, before everyone headed home.

Now the house is quiet (The Guy is asleep!) and I am flooded with memories… weddings, babies, travels, friendships… so many blessings inspiring profound gratitude. Weddings and babies have a special way of reminding us of the blessing of family, but so do many other perhaps less momentous events – shared meals, laughter, conversations. It’s comforting to know that gratitude can soak up nostalgia and brighten the hue of remembering. 

Ultimate Croquet

We are in New Brunswick now, at the Marshall cottage on Bay du Vin. This is the landscape of Brendan’s childhood summers – ocean, beach, campfires and Ultimate Croquet. This year’s game of Ultimate Croquet was a much-anticipated event – Brendan had been planning it since before we arrived. The timing of such a game has to be calculated just right, as the beach is in play and the tide can have a significant effect on the level of difficulty. There was much discussion this year about the optimal time to play, but we finally set up the wickets yesterday evening after the babies went to bed (two other couples were with us, one of which has a 13-month-old). Ultimate Croquet is much less straightforward than regular croquet. In fact, the whole purpose of Ultimate Croquet is to be the least straightforward possible. Wickets are set up in ruts on the road, over a mangled mess of tree roots, among rocks on the beach, on sandbars surrounded by the rising tide, etc. One person often lags behind quite significantly, getting tripped up on every possible obstacle, or just having the misfortune of a bad croquet swing. Yesterday that person was me. I did well at the end, though (when I was the last person still playing). In my zeal to reach the finish line, I made a couple good shots and proclaimed that if I hadn’t been so far behind at first, I likely would not have lost. I didn’t realize this was funny until everyone else laughed. I suppose it was rather like saying, “if I weren’t last, I wouldn’t have lost!” Oh well. Someone has to come in last!

Besides playing Ultimate Croquet, we’ve been spending our cottage time catching up with friends and family, eating good food, swimming, and enjoying some well-earned naps. It’s nice to be on holiday.

A few photos from our time in New Brunswick so far:

Liam and his friend Oleander in Bear Island (where Ole and his parents live)

Liam with his Uncle Owen (Brendan's brother), Cousin Eloise, and their dog, Buster

Eloise at Nana & Papa's

Sunset at the cottage

Liam at 10 months

Chris and Leah's Epic Wedding Weekend

On July 1st, my dad walked his youngest daughter down the aisle. We celebrated the third wedding in our family in two years, and now all the Cogan girls are married. The morning was spent as per tradition on Cogan wedding days: all the girls gather at Mom & Dad’s, hair is done and makeup applied, breakfast brought in by friends, photos taken, excitement manifested in frequent laughter. When the time comes, the bridesmaids put on their dresses and join the bride in an upstairs bedroom to help her into her gown. Then, as the girls look on eagerly, Dad is allowed in the room to admire his soon-to-be-wed daughter. Some of the most tender photos of the day are taken at this moment. This happened on my wedding day two years ago and immediately became an unspoken tradition – we watched the same events unfold on October 30th, 2010 for Jessica and on Friday for Leah.

Another of my favourite wedding moments is watching the groom as he beholds his bride for the first time. Chris greeted the bridesmaids and groomsmen with a broad smile, but when he saw Leah, the enormity of what was about to occur seemed to impress itself upon him. He took a deep breath and fixed his eyes on the beautiful woman before him. He seemed completely awestruck. As I watched Chris wait for his bride, I couldn’t help but think that there is little as beautiful to witness as the love between a man and a woman. God has designed our relationships as vessels of indescribable joy – a joy uniquely tangible at the celebration of a marriage. No wonder heaven is described as a wedding feast.

The ceremony was beautiful. Before they exchanged vows, Leah & Chris wanted to take a moment to worship with their family and friends. The musicians led us in three songs, the last of which was “Blessed Be Your Name.” One of the lines of this song is “Blessed be your name…when the world’s all as it should be.” At that moment, it did feel that the world was as it should be – that this union was part of God’s glorious design and that great good would come of it.

I thought of this again as I watched my sister stand before the altar with her new husband. I felt I was seeing her in a new light: as a woman who would be the heart of a strong and gifted family. The little girl full of so much energy and life had grown into a beautiful, capable, strong and courageous woman, ready to take on the tremendous responsibility of being a wife and, eventually, mother.

The reception was held in my parents’ backyard. A tent was set up, large enough to accommodate over 200 guests, and we enjoyed a meal of burgers and various scrumptious salads. Kids roamed freely and grown-ups mingled – it was a perfect summer scene. 

The tent (the wall flaps were removed the day of the wedding)

The tent on prep day - place settings and centrepieces yet to be put out

After dinner there were speeches, and then the dance began. Leah & Chris planned to open with their first dance together, but instead their guests surprised them with a flash mob. The dance had been choreographed by a few friends and disseminated to all guests through an instructional video on youtube about a month before the wedding. The surprise worked beautifully – Leah & Chris went from confusion to awe as they watched a few friends break into dance and then gradually be joined by the entire crowd. Leah was so overcome by it all that she burst into tears!

The actual dance was also awesome. Not surprisingly, Leah & Chris have attracted a group of the most talented friends imaginable – various combinations of them played live music for the rest of the evening.

The next day Chris’ mom and brothers and a bunch of friends came back to my parents’ place to help clean up. Many hands made light work – virtually everything was picked up by mid-afternoon. We enjoyed a lunch of wedding leftovers, finished the cleanup, sat around on the deck and played music, pulled out more leftovers for dinner and then played more music around a bonfire. Sunday was similar – after Mass a bunch of people came over for leftovers and we spent the day eating, swimming, and revisiting the events of the past week. We all wished it didn’t have to end!

Cleanup day

Lunch on the deck with the cleanup crew!

I haven’t seen Leah & Chris since Sunday (Brendan and I are now in New Brunswick), but I’m sure they’re enjoying their first experience of married life. During his toast to them, my dad said he couldn’t wait to see what adventures await them. If their wedding day is an indication of things to come, they will certainly share a rich and beautiful life together. 

The Adventure Continues

I just stopped to consider how long we’ve been home and am amazed to realize that it has only been a little over two weeks! The days have been packed!

We arrived in Ottawa on Friday, May 27^th, around 4:30pm, after a very long day of flying. Liam once again proved to be an expert traveller – we had worried a bit that this trip might be tough for him, but he took it all in stride, sleeping, eating, playing, and not crying. We were very proud! When we finally made it through customs, we were greeted by a joyous band of family and friends. They even made a banner!

We went home that evening to my parents’ place, where we would spend the next 10 days. Although we got the keys to our condo back on June 1^st, we decided to move in gradually (our first night here was last Tuesday). We are still in the process of unpacking, but it’s coming along well.

This is an intentionally short note, as I really should be getting to bed. A few people have asked whether I’ll continue blogging – I do intend to keep it up, hopefully (once we are more settled) with the same regularity as before. Stay tuned for more Marshall adventures! 

Scotland, Farewell

A run down of our last week here:

Friday: Epic BBQ/dance party hosted by Diego & Chris.

Saturday: Lovely dinner with Ian & Elanor at their place; Brown Curlyheads beat Gingers at Auction 45, but there will be a rematch (watch out B & E)!

Sunday: Kasia’s birthday party, last session of Growing Married.

Monday: We begin to worry that Mt. Grimsvotn might ruin our plans to fly home on the 27^th.

Tuesday: Brendan writes his last exam; last Marshall Extravaganza at our place.

Wednesday: Packing & cleaning; frequent checking of flight status as the ash cloud travels south.

Thursday: More packing & cleaning, last walk around town, goodbye visits from friends. So far so good in terms of flight schedule: we’ll be waking up at 4am tomorrow morning to make it to Edinburgh for our 6:30 flight.

It’s hard to put into words what the time here has meant to us. I’ll save the deeper reflection for another moment, as we still have a few things to pack and must get ourselves to bed shortly. For now, we say farewell to Stirling and to all those who have made our stay here so memorable. You have enriched our lives immensely and we will miss you. We hope our paths will cross again.

To those waiting for us back home: we can’t wait to see you again and look forward to sharing with you the next chapter of our adventures!