Proverbs 31

The first reading at Mass today was from Proverbs 31:

“A good wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels.

The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain.

She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.

She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands.

She puts her hands to the distaff, and her hands hold the spindle.

She opens her hand to the poor, and reaches out her hands to the needy.

Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates.”

After the reading, Brendan whispered to me: “That describes you! Especially the part about working with flax!” I had to stifle my “this-is-not-an-appropriate-time-to-be-laughing” laughter for a good couple of minutes. He said this because I’ve recently become obsessed with healthy food, and flax is one of the new additions to our diet. I think he also said it just to make me laugh.

Although I was honoured by my husband’s praise (because it was a compliment, flax joke aside!), I know that becoming the Proverbs 31 woman is a long journey. She is trustworthy, noble, hard working, generous, faithful to God and to her family – when I think of this woman, I imagine someone with great strength of character who does not back away from challenges, but meets them courageously, unafraid to give of herself for the good of others. When I was a teenager I noticed that my mom would never sit down to dinner until everyone else had what they needed. If there was not enough of something to go around, she would be the one to go without. I remember assuming that this kind of generosity was part of motherhood. When you’re a mom, you give. In my teenage way, I thought this was something you just grow into spontaneously. My mom’s self-giving seemed so effortless that I figured it was just something that came naturally when you assumed the responsibility of looking after other people. Now that I’m a wife and mother myself, I realize that generosity, even when it comes naturally, is not always effortless. I don’t think the Proverbs 31 woman just woke up one morning ready for the task of caring for a husband and children, working at her craft to provide for her family, feeding the poor, honouring the Lord in everything she does – she had to work at these virtues. And although the idea of so much hard work can be daunting at times, it’s encouraging to think that with effort (and grace, of course), we can become the people we want to be. Every small decision I make to be generous, to work hard, to meet the needs of others, molds me into the kind of woman I want to be. A woman like the wife in Proverbs 31 – a woman like my own mother.