Here We Are: James

Our second son, James Philip Gordon Marshall, was born on September 16^th at 4:38pm. It was a perfect day.

I woke up that morning with Liam at 6:30, after a full night’s sleep (the concept of uninterrupted sleep seems so distant to me now!). Nana, Papa and Daddy were still asleep, so Liam and I went to the basement to watch Thomas and Friends and do a prenatal yoga practice, respectively (!). A couple of hours later, I noticed that the Braxton Hicks contractions which had become so frequent in the last weeks began to feel different. We had planned to go out for breakfast and to Mass with Bill, Susan, Liz and Chris, so I decided to pack my bag for the birthing centre in case we didn’t have time to come home. My contractions continued over the course of breakfast and increased in frequency and intensity during Mass. We went to Blessed Sacrament, and Brendan and I spent most of the Mass in the nursery, where we would hear what was happening upstairs and I could breathe and sway through my contractions without distracting anyone. After Mass I called my midwife to give her an update. We agreed that I should go home and call again when I felt the contractions become a little more intense. About an hour later, we were on our way to the birthing centre.

By 2pm, we were settled in our room and our midwife had measured my progress: I was at 4cm. I felt a rush of relief at that announcement. During my labour with Liam we were sent home from the hospital twice because I was not far enough along to be admitted. This time, I wasn’t even really in pain yet and already at 4cm. I was glad to know that things were progressing well.

My contractions continued regularly for the next hour and a half, increasing in intensity but still not causing me too much pain. We decided then that it would be a good idea to eat, so we chose from the centre’s menu and put on an episode of Arrested Development while we waited for our meal. My labour progressed rapidly in the short time it took to prepare the food. Just as the midwife returned to our room, I had two extremely intense contractions back to back. “Ok, I think I should check you again,” she said calmly. I laid down on the bed, hoping she wouldn’t say 5cm. It was only 3:45 though, so I wasn’t expecting much progress. “7cm!” she announced, smiling. She then called the second midwife to come assist with delivery. The pain was becoming difficult to manage at this point, so the student midwife who was with us drew a bath for me. Getting in the water offered significant relief. The contractions were now excruciating, but I was able to relax completely between each one, which helped me to cope. It wasn’t long before I felt the need to push. I got out of the tub and onto the bed. On one of the first pushes, the midwife realized that the membrane was still intact, so she broke it for me on the next push. I pushed again and out came the baby’s head. A final push and he was born, at 4:38pm. I was on my hands and knees, so they slipped him under me and I was able to hold him right away. I was completely overcome with emotion. I felt triumphant – and so in love with my precious boy.

Brendan and the midwives helped me onto my back for the afterbirth. Brendan cut the umbilical cord and I waited somewhat nervously to deliver the placenta. When it came out a few moments later I was again filled with a sense of relief. This process had been more complicated the first time. Liam had passed meconium in utero, so when he was born, he was immediately whisked away to have his lungs aspirated. One of my midwifes this time around explained to me that having my baby taken from me so abruptly may have caused a surge of adrenaline in my body, which would have stopped the normal course of labour. I would also have missed out on the oxytocin (a labour inducing hormone) that is released in a mother’s body when she holds her baby immediately after birth. Perhaps for these reasons, or possibly others, my placenta stayed put after Liam was born. When 30 minutes had elapsed, the doctor reached in to get it, which put me into shock. Needless to say, I did not want to repeat that experience, especially without an epidural! So delivering James’ placenta was the crowning of a perfect birth experience!

For the next two hours, I held my baby to my breast and waited for him to nurse. He needed a bit of help, but eventually he figured it out. I enjoyed those first few hours of his life – watching him open and close his eyes, suckle gently, and begin to take in the world outside the womb. Brendan’s parents brought Liam to see us during that time. He was immediately interested in the baby, wanting to touch James’ tiny hands and nose, and placing his own ball cap on the baby’s head. After our visitors left and James had finished his first feed, the midwives checked him out. He weighed in at 7lbs 13oz, and measured 21 inches. They found him to be perfectly healthy, and since I was also doing well, we were allowed to go home. We pulled into our driveway with our new baby at 8:15pm, just 12 hours after I felt the first hint of labour. And although I had contractions for about 8 hours, I was only in pain for the last hour. I had hoped for an easier labour this second time around and I certainly got it!

Bill and Susan stayed with us for the first week of James’ life, which was a tremendous help. All I did that first week was look after my baby (making sure, of course, to let Liam know that I was still his mama too!) – Susan kept the household running masterfully while I slept and nursed my newborn. I recovered very quickly from the birth and felt well enough in the second week to start going back to some of my regular activities with Liam – playgroups, outings to the park, and so on. I’m grateful for how smoothly the transition has gone.

I wondered, before James was born, what it would be like to love another baby. Now I’ve experienced what I had heard other moms say: your heart grows exponentially with the gift of each child. I love my little James so much. I am honoured to be his mother, to be entrusted with his precious soul, and I look forward to getting to know him as he grows.