Spring

Spring has come to Stirling. It made its first appearance a couple weeks ago, but I was incredulous. This can’t really be Spring, I thought. Must just be a few nice days.  But day after day of blue skies, warm air, and birds chirping their little hearts out is not a coincidence. It’s Spring. Of course, this being Scotland, we’ve also had rain, but I don’t feel I have the right to complain about a bit of rain when my loved ones are still buried under 10 feet of snow!

Liam is feeling better now and we are both enjoying our daily walks in this new and most welcome season. Yesterday in particular. He was complaining about anything and everything yesterday – filling my ears with his infant ennui. On the brink of insanity, I packed him into his pram and headed out for a stroll and a latte. Much better to be outside than in on a day like that. As I walked, I remembered a conversation Brendan and I had a few days earlier. We dipped in and out of various topics, as we often do, but one theme stood out to me: gratitude. At one point, Brendan said in a celebratory tone, “You’re living the life you want to live!” And it’s true – I am. I thought of that as I pushed a stroller through the streets of Stirling yesterday. A stroller holding a nearly six-month-old. My nearly six-month-old. Admittedly, his whining drives me nuts sometimes. And I’m exhausted. But I’m a mom! This is what I always wanted to be! I am a wife and a mother, I’m working at a new job I enjoy, I have a loving family, good friends and fun hobbies. And I’m happy.

I know life will not always be this easy. There are times when peace can only be scraped from the very depths of sorrow and gratitude feels thin and strained. These times will inevitably come. But for now peace is abundant and gratitude flows fast. My foolish little ego sometimes feels guilty for being so happy, as though I should have done more to deserve this blessing. I’m sure St. Therese would just nestle into the Father’s lap and relish his sweet attentions, knowing she could not have earned them had she been the most perfect soul alive. So I’ll try to follow her example by joyfully accepting the gifts I have not earned but which enrich my life inestimably. And the next time Liam catches the whine bug, I won’t hesitate to pack him up and head out – it did wonders yesterday!