Christmas

December 24^th was a busy day for us. Lots of last minute errands, baking, and packing made the hours fly by, but we still managed to get to Christmas Eve Mass in Russell on time. We went to the 5pm Mass this year, which is Our Lady of the Miraculous Medal’s children’s Mass. It wasn’t a particularly peaceful celebration (nothing like the 10pm Mass my family had grown accustomed to attending before the advent of grandkids), but we chose it so that our babies wouldn’t be up too late. As I sat in the crowded auditorium (this Mass is held in a high school gym because the church can’t accommodate all the families), nursing James and listening to the kids in the choir give it their best effort, I was gifted with one of those elusive moments of insight I mentioned in my last post. I considered it my Christmas gift from Jesus – so like him to be the one to dole out gifts on his own birthday! It caught me off guard, as these things often do. I was just singing along with the choir, when suddenly the lyrics pierced me. I don’t even remember what they were. Something simple like, “Christ is Lord.” Something we say so often we forget what it means. But that night the weight of the words settled in my heart and brought me to tears. The children’s Mass seemed an unlikely setting for that kind of spiritual gift, but I was grateful for it. Prompted by this moment into conversation with God, it occurred to me that I was actually glad to be there at the chaotic and distracting children’s Mass. When I was in Regnum Christi, I experienced some of the most beautiful Christmas Masses I have ever attended. The atmosphere was serene, my heart was brimming with peace and joy, the music was heavenly – everything about those celebrations was perfect. I’m glad God allowed me to experience that, but although I sometimes long for a return to that depth of spiritual experience, I know I’m where I’m supposed to be now. I was glad to be at the children’s Mass, because I am glad to have children.

That evening, we settled in for Christmas at the Cogan Ranch. We had a lovely Christmas Eve meal, followed by pajama gifts for the kiddies. Every year my siblings and I would receive new pjs on Christmas Eve, so Jess and I decided to continue that tradition with our little ones this year. We dressed the three of them in matching pjs, sat them on the couch all in a row and celebrated their cuteness. Liam and Anna loved the clapping and cheering – James looked indifferent, but I’m sure he was happy on the inside! Every time the clapping would die down, Anna would rev us all back up again with another impossibly cute, “Yaaaaayyyyy!!!” This lasted quite some time. Finally, the cheering subsided and the babies were put to bed. After singing a few Christmas carols (a highlight for me of Christmas at home), the rest of us (with the exception of Grandma, who had also gone to bed) launched into a rousing game of Bowl of Nouns. This is a hilarious game. We always play guys against girls and the girls inevitably win. Although Dad and the brothers-in-law habitually discuss how foolish it is to pit themselves against the telepathic mother-daughters quartet, they do it every time. And every time, we cream them. After hours of word guessing, charade playing, and spontaneous laughing fits, we called it a night.

My mom was the last to go to bed and the first to rise the next morning. Liam was hot on her heals, which meant an early morning for me too. Once all the troops were gathered, we proceeded with gift opening. Liam was excited about opening presents this year. It was fun to watch him delight in each new toy and immediately immerse himself in play. The Chesser’s paid their annual mid-morning visit, and after they left we sat down to a scrumptious Christmas breakfast.

Cogan Christmas Stair Photo 2012 (James was still sleeping) 

That afternoon, Brendan orchestrated a ball hockey game in my parents’ driveway. I was on the verge of collapse, so I opted to take a nap, but I went out afterwards and found everyone to be having a great time. My mom admitted to Brendan that this was the first time she had ever played hockey. He was astounded! She also said to me later that she was glad he had rallied everyone together for the game. He’s definitely good at cooking up plans and getting people to participate. We’re glad to have him around!

Uncle John's family joined us for the Christmas feast that evening. It was a glorious one, and we all left the table properly stuffed. The rest of the night passed quietly by – we were all exhausted but happy. It was good to be together.

Trying out the exersaucer for the first time.

On the 26^th, our little family came home to prepare for our trip to New Brunswick. We had planned to leave the next day, but a looming storm convinced us of a same day departure. The Cogan’s were gathering for an extended family Christmas party at Chris and Tami’s, so we stopped by briefly and then started the long drive out east. We spent the night near Rivière-du-Loup and arrived in Fredericton on the 27^th, about an hour before the snow began to fly.

It was good to see our Fredericton family, but unfortunately many of our plans for that holiday had to be cancelled on account of illness. We arrived on Thursday, and by Saturday, Brendan was flattened by what he later learned was the flu and bronchitis. Liam developed an ear infection and was miserable the entire week. Several other family members also got sick. Despite the unfortunate circumstances, however, we still managed to have some good times. We did our gift exchange with the Marshall’s on the day we arrived – we were all spoiled rotten by Nana and Papa! On Friday the 28^th, we got together with friends, and the next morning the boys and I went to the market with Owen and Eloise. The 29^th was Susan and Bill’s 45^th wedding anniversary and their kids had planned a lovely private dinner for them at Owen and Amy’s to which we all contributed courses. We also took turns toasting the guests of honour. It was nice to be able to treat them.

James’ baptism was planned for Sunday, and we went ahead with it despite cancelling the dinner beforehand and the reception afterwards (too many people were sick). It had been a crazy and exhausting day for me; I wasn’t very excited about going to Mass that evening, but when I got there, I felt peace. This was a momentous occasion in my little boy’s life, and I felt honoured to present him for it.

Bill, Susan, Elizabeth, and Chris left for Burnt Church on New Year’s Eve. Brendan and I had planned to celebrate the new year with friends, but he was still too sick to do anything, so I roasted a chicken and we watched a movie, then fell into bed exhausted. It doesn’t sound like a very exciting way to spend New Year’s Eve, but it was actually really nice. We talked about 2012, which was full of changes for us – new job, new house, new baby – and raised a glass to the things ahead. The following week, one of the moms at a playgroup I go to said she sometimes feels pressured to have fun on New Year’s Eve, as though it’s mandatory to do something epic. We all laughed and agreed that after all the activity of Christmas, it’s often just nice to have a quiet evening and go to bed early!

Brendan and Liam went to the doctor on the 2nd and received their diagnoses and prescriptions. They both began to recover once they started on antibiotics, which was a welcome change. On the 3^rd, I took the boys over to play with Eloise in the morning. We had a tea party and played hide and seek, read stories and had snacks. It was fun to play with them – Liam and Eloise interact so well together for seeing one another only twice a year. I hope their cousin bond continues to grow as they do.

Elizabeth’s birthday is January 3^rd, so the family gathered for dinner in her honour that evening. Once everyone had gone their separate ways, Brendan and I packed for the next day’s trip home. We left early on the 4^th, and with a few stops along the way, including one at my parents’ place for dinner, we made it home around 10pm.   

Liam & James with their friend Oleander

Liam was not happy about someone else holding his brother! 

The Marshall crew (minus Caleb, who was out of town that day)

We spent the weekend unpacking from our holiday and putting away our Christmas decorations. It’s always slightly bittersweet to take down the decorations, but the sweet surpassed the bitter this year. As we put things away, I felt deeply grateful for our Christmas, and already began to look forward to next year and the years to follow.

Advent

It seems strange to write about Advent in January, but since those four weeks flew by before I could set my fingers to the keys, I’ll take the opportunity now.

This year, I wanted to live the tradition of Advent with intention. I love tradition – the way it nurtures family identity and fosters mindfulness. Traditional ritual is very different from repetition. We do many repetitive things in this fast-paced world, but without the purposefulness of tradition. Days and weeks pass us by without the yield of rich memories that traditions afford. Admittedly, I didn’t have the kind of Advent I was hoping for (evidence: I’m writing this post now, which means I didn’t make time during Advent to ponder the season or put my thoughts into words), but I still think I made a step in the right direction, for myself and for my little family.

I decided this year to mark each Sunday of Advent with a special activity in preparation for Christmas. The first Sunday, we put out the Advent wreath and nativity scene. So many times, my wreath and nativity have not come out until mid-December, so this was a big deal for me! Brendan also decorated the outside of the house with lights, mini Christmas trees, and a wreath. After dark, we went for a drive around Aylmer to see other houses lit up. Liam was impressed, and said, “Oh, yights!” about a thousand times. This thrilled us to bits! 

Liam likes to line things up. Shortly after I put out the nativity, I found all the animals in a queue...

The second week, we decorated our tree. On Saturday the 8^th, Brendan and I packed up the boys and went to Canadian Tire to pick up all the tree accessories we didn’t yet have (this being our very first family Christmas tree): stand, tree skirt, lights, tinsel, star, and some generic ornaments to use as fillers between the treasured decorations we had both accumulated over the years (and which our mothers thoughtfully packed up for us when we started our own home). We found the perfect tree from a seller stationed just across the street from Canadian Tire, and proudly brought our purchases home. That evening, in the company of Jess, Joel and Anna, we had our first tree decorating party. The tree turned out beautifully. On many subsequent evenings, Brendan would dim the lights in the living room and put on a pot of tea, and we would sit and enjoy the tree together. Admiring the tree was a favourite Christmas pastime for both of us growing up, so it was nice to share this tradition in our joint home. My parents and brothers had other plans on that Saturday, so they came out the next day. It was fun to be able to share our Christmas house with my family for the first time.

The third week of Advent, we celebrated our mini-Christmas with the Baker’s and Gernon’s. This is a tradition that began last year, and I hope will continue as long as our families live close to one another (which, ideally, would be forever – but these things are hard to predict!). We enjoyed a delicious meal, took our family Christmas photos, and exchanged gifts. The eve of Gaudete Sunday seemed a fitting time for this celebration with close friends, and I’m hopeful that the third weekend of Advent will always be reserved for this purpose. After leaving the Baker’s we stopped by the VanDusen’s Christmas tree decorating party (another longstanding tradition), where my family also was. We stayed too late, but it was worth it!

Photo taken by Jenna

Our seven kiddies. I wonder how many more will be added to this group?!

A glimpse of the Baker's beautiful Christmasy home

December 19^th my dad’s office had a bring-your-kids-to-work morning, followed by a Christmas potluck lunch and visit from Santa. Since Mike and Dan are a little too old for that sort of thing and Dad thought Pat could use some company, he invited Anna and Liam along. So Tapa Tim (as Liam calls him) had an office-turned-playroom for the morning, and was very proud to show off his grandkids to admiring colleagues. I dropped Liam off in the morning, did a bit of shopping, and then came back in time for Santa’s visit. My mom had wrapped some gifts for Santa to give to Pat, Liam and Anna, and I was hoping to get a cute picture of Liam on Santa’s knee, receiving his present. Unfortunately, as soon as Santa entered the room, Liam started his siren wail and bolted. Poor little guy was terrified! Anna kept it together a little better, but was still traumatized by her first experience on Santa’s knee. Hopefully we’ll have a better photo op next year!

On the fourth Sunday of Advent, my mom and sisters and I went out for lunch and did some shopping together. This is another tradition we like to keep around Christmas time. We don’t often have girl time all together, so it’s nice to be able to count on this special date. That same day, we invited my family for a spontaneous evening of finger food and drinks. Brendan wanted to be able to share in the Christmas hosting, so he took this opportunity. I tell him this often, but it bears repeating: I am blessed by my husband’s gift for hospitality. He likes bringing people together, he’s eager to share his home, and he loves a good time – all qualities that make for a great host, and lots of good times!

These activities made our first Advent in our new home a memorable one. Next year, I hope to incorporate more spiritual practices into our observance of Advent. As our children grow, I want to instill in them an understanding of the profound meaning of this season of waiting. I want them to know who we are waiting for, and teach them to wait with anticipation. I want to be able to do that myself. To wait for the coming of Jesus with anticipation takes mindfulness. In order to feel anticipation, there must be time that’s not filled up with rushing around buying things or baking things or lighting things up. Time spent in quiet reflection, preparing a place for the awaited guest. I didn’t do very well at that part of Advent this year. I wasn’t in a frenzy, but I wasn’t very purposeful either. My lack of spiritual mindfulness was definitely influenced by having pneumonia for the first two weeks of December, which was a real drag. Liam, James, and I watched a lot of Bob the Builder during that period. But blaming my lack of a prayer life on pneumonia isn’t really addressing the root of the issue. I know I need to get back to the discipline of prayer. I kept expecting that some beautiful powerful moment of transcendence would just hit me and I would feel as though I were truly delving into the profound meaning of Advent. But I should have known better. Sometimes these moments strike us out of the blue, but more often, they are the fruit of devotion. When day in and day out, I would turn my thoughts to God in contemplation, he would often reward me with profound insight. I know I can’t pray for several hours a day, as I once did, but it is still possible to dedicate some time to prayer (that amounts to more than a few scattered minutes here and there). I’m not going to wait until next Advent to set aside this time for God. I want to do it now.

Another thing I’d like to do next year is give more. I want my kids to grow up with an attitude of generosity that is not limited to Christmas, but Christmas is a good place to start. I’ve come across a few ideas of how to incorporate some sort of tangible giving into our Christmas traditions, and I hope to follow through next year.

That was a bit of a ramble, and it’s getting late, so I’ll have to save the recounting of our Christmas for another post.

P.S. Some shots of the Schnicks at 3 months:

New York, New York

On Wednesday, November 21^st, Brendan, James and I set out on a trip to New York City. My intention was to write about it as soon as we got home, but then I got hit with pneumonia and did next to nothing for two weeks. When I was back to myself again, Christmas prep was in full swing. So I’m a bit behind with the blog, but hope to catch up this week.

On Wednesday the 21^st, I dropped Liam off for an extended stay at the Cogan Ranch, picked Brendan up from work, and we were off: our first road trip since James’ birth! We drove to Albany that night and took the train into New York the next morning. We arrived in the big city on Thanksgiving Thursday, just in time for the Macy’s parade, which happened to be passing right by our hotel. Our room was not available yet, so we stashed our bags in the designated luggage closet and were about to leave when we noticed someone watching the parade through a hallway window. Two of her friends had climbed out of the window onto a balcony, where the view was even better. There was room for more, so we joined them and B snapped a few good pictures. 

Then we found out that what we were doing was against fire code and were kindly asked to get down (it was actually a fire escape we were standing on, not a balcony!).  By that time we had gotten our fill of parade watching anyway, so we happily complied and set out to explore the area a bit. We walked down Fifth Avenue that morning and popped into St. Patrick’s before going back to the hotel to meet up with Owen and Bill, whom we knew would be arriving around that time. When the troops were gathered, we had lunch together at an Irish pub and continued our walk. Sixth Avenue was still closed to traffic because of the parade, so our first taste of NYC was rather unique: people milling about everywhere, including the middle of the street! We walked up to Times Square and to the edge of Central Park. Owen took us into the Plaza Hotel to show us the Eloise shop (his daughter’s name is Eloise), but unfortunately it was closed for the holiday. We walked past the Rockefeller center and saw the skating rink and the tree (which was to be unveiled a few days later). We also ventured into the giant toy store, FAO Schwartz, mostly just to get this picture:

After all, we had taken this one two years earlier at Hamleys in London, so it was fitting to get a sequel shot of James!

The trip had been planned for that particular weekend because Bill got tickets to a Jets vs Patriots game on Thanksgiving. After a brief rest at the hotel we made our way to the MetLife Stadium in NJ. I had never been to a football game and definitely never set foot in such a giant stadium. The energy was electric. As Pats fans, we were definitely in the minority (I speak for the guys here, of course. I’m pretty much clueless when it comes to football teams), but the Marshall men seemed eager to make up for their lesser numbers with the volume of their cheering and taunting. As it happens, their team won by a landslide, so they were pleased with their allegiances!

The next day was Black Friday, so we shopped (naturally). We walked away with some good deals too: boots, leather jackets for Owen, Bill and me (buy one, get 2 free!), work clothes and a winter coat for Brendan, and a set of sheets. Not bad for one morning! That afternoon we explored Lower Manhattan and took the Staten Island ferry. The highlight of that day was stopping by the little church that survived September 11^th. It serves as a museum now, exhibiting photos and mementoes from the days and months following the attack. It was a poignant exhibit and a powerful reminder of what a dramatic impact that event had on the history of the United States.

The Statue of Liberty, seen from the ferry

Lower Manhattan, seen from the ferry

Friday night we went to Greenwich Village to meet up with a friend of Owen’s. The plan was to go to a comedy show and then check out the Blue Note jazz club, but we didn’t make it in time for the early show, so we had to alter our trajectory. We got tickets to an 11:30 show and walked around a bit looking for something to do in the interim. It was nice to see another part of the city. Greenwich Village has a very different feel than Midtown and Lower Manhattan. Less flashy, more artsy – I liked it. We soon came across another comedy club that was offering a free show, so we stepped in there. The show was mediocre – I guess that’s to be expected with free entry. James and I were the butt of many jokes (of the “who takes a baby to a club?” variety). I didn’t mind the jokes, but I did get a little antsy when James started fussing, so Brendan and I left early. We decided not to wait around for the late show, given that James didn’t seem to be a fan of stand-up. Instead we took the subway back to Times Square and marveled at the hoards of people still milling about at 10pm. Stores were open, lights were flashing everywhere. It was like the middle of the afternoon! No wonder they call it the city that never sleeps! Walking back to the hotel we stopped by Bryant Park, a lovely green space surrounded by craft shops. Christmas music was playing and people were skating on a rink in the middle of the park. We enjoyed a pre-Christmas festive moment there before continuing on to the hotel.

Times Square at night

On Saturday morning we went back to Times Square to line up for Broadway tickets. Brendan and I chose Jersey Boys, and Owen and Bill decided on Chaplin (they had already seen Jersey Boys). We met up with Leah and Chris at the TKTS booth, and all went out for lunch after purchasing our tickets. We were going to a matinee, so there was just enough time to have lunch, grab a coffee, and then make our way to our respective theatres. Leah and Chris took James to the American Museum of Natural History while we were at the show. He liked the dinosaurs.

After the show we went out for dinner at an Italian restaurant in Soho, said goodbye to Owen and Bill who were leaving that night, and headed to Leah and Chris’ apartment in Brooklyn. We stayed up way too late, but it was one of those nights when the conversation is more important than the time.

Sunday morning found us wandering around a neighborhood in Brooklyn called Park Slope in search of a good breakfast. We didn’t find a breakfast spot, but we did snag some delicious scones and very fine sandwiches. We went to Mass around midday and then crashed for a couple of hours – we were all in need of a nap! That evening we had pizza at Grimaldi’s, which had come highly recommended. It did not disappoint! Despite the cold windy weather, we then ventured onto the Brooklyn Bridge and walked just far enough to enjoy the spectacular nighttime view of Manhattan’s skyline.

Lower Manhattan

Midtown

We left Brooklyn early Monday morning, took the train to Albany and drove home from there. Liam was thrilled to see us when we walked through the door at my parents’ place. We were pretty glad to see him too.

It’s impossible to get to know a city in just a few days, but I enjoyed my first taste of New York. Although I don’t think I could ever live there, it was fun to pretend that I belonged on those streets. I hope to walk them again.