Eamon

One year ago today, I was almost 39 weeks pregnant with my fourth child. He was due June 25th and I was preparing myself to go past my due date. Expecting an early delivery makes each passing day seem like an eternity. It was a Friday, and my youngest brother was turning 12. He had invited some friends and his little nieces and nephews to play with him at Millennium Sports Park, a 15 minute drive from our house. I had kept Liam home from school and we were planning to meet the others at the park at 10am. As I ran around the house scrambling to get everyone ready, contractions started. I called my mom to let her know. “I think it might be because I’ve been running all morning,” I said. “I’ll lie down for a bit and then come. The boys are looking forward to going to the park.” We decided that if things progressed, I would leave the three boys with her and go home. I rested for half an hour but the contractions kept coming. Not wanting to disappoint the boys, I got up, buckled everyone into the van and drove to the park. By the time we arrived, I couldn’t sit through the contractions. My mom, both my sisters, and a friend were there with their kids. We had put together a picnic and I ate a few bites as I paced and swayed. Finally, my sister asked, “So when are you going to leave?!” I agreed that it was time. I was about to call Brendan to tell him, but he called me first. “I’m having contractions, I need you to come home!” he joked. “Funny you should say that,” I replied. “I was about to tell you the same thing!” He laughed. He had ridden his bike to work that morning and would now have another 45 minute ride back, only a couple hours later.

It was around 2:45pm when we arrived at the birth centre. By 3pm, we were heading home again. My midwife had determined that I was only 3cm dilated and advised that I go home, take a Tylenol and a bath, and rest for a while. I felt like things were progressing along the same trajectory as my two previous labours (which had begun in the morning and ended mid-afternoon), but after the midwife’s assessment, I began to prepare myself mentally for a longer labour. My first labour had been very long, and although I was hoping for a baby before evening, I began to think that maybe this labour would be more like the first than the other two. I was disappointed, but resolved to stay focused and calm. Brendan dropped me off at home and went to pick up some Tylenol. I ran a bath. During my last two labours, being in the giant birth centre tubs had given me some relief. My regular sized tub wasn’t quite cutting it. Every time a contraction came on, I felt a simultaneous wave of fear. “Don’t be afraid,” I said to myself. “Let it come. You can do this.” I’m convinced this positive self-talk helped my body to open up and accept the process. After a short while in the tub, I entered what Ina May Gaskin calls “Labourland”: the trance-like state that accompanies advanced labour. Though it didn’t occur to me at the time, looking back over my labours, I recognize this as the period right before transition. Between contractions, I felt my body relax, almost to the point of sleep. I decided to get out of the tub and lie down in bed, so that I could relax more fully, as my body was prompting me to do. I climbed into bed and tried not to resist the contractions as they came. I concentrated on making low sounds, avoiding the pull to get shrill and panicky. Suddenly, I felt the urge to push. “The baby is coming,” I told Brendan, who had been napping beside me. “Call the midwife. And get my homebirth kit out of the closet.” He bolted out of bed, called the midwife to tell her what was happening, then put the phone on speaker next to me so that I could talk. He retrieved the large pads from my home birth kit, which we had as a precaution. We weren’t expecting to need them. “I’m on my way,” said the midwife. “If your water breaks before I arrive, call me back and then call 911.” A minute later, my water broke. Brendan informed the midwife of my progress, then quickly spread pads over the bed. I moved onto all fours. Brendan dialed 911. I breathed. “My wife is having a baby,” I heard him say. “AND I CAN SEE THE HEAD!” Don’t strain, just breathe, I thought. He’s coming. You can do this. “THE HEAD IS OUT! I’m putting you on speaker,” Brendan told the operator, setting the phone down and preparing to catch the baby. Another surge. “THE BABY IS BORN!!!” It was 4:38pm, just over an hour after we had gotten home. Brendan placed Eamon on the bed beside me and I cradled him, taking in his beautiful newbornness. “Ok, what should we do now?” Brendan asked. “Is he breathing properly? Is he crying?” asked the operator. “Yes!” we cheered. “Good. Just keep him warm. The paramedics will be there soon,” the operator assured us. “Congratulations!” I don’t know how many minutes passed between Eamon’s birth and the arrival of the paramedics. Maybe five. But I remember the feeling of that moment, the sheer disbelief that I had done it, that my baby was now in my arms.

When the paramedics arrived, they checked our vitals and determined that we were both fine. They clamped Eamon’s umbilical cord and Brendan cut it. One of them told me that I would have to go to the hospital but I said my midwives were on the way and I’d rather stay home. The midwives arrived about 15 minutes later. Satisfied that I was in good hands, the paramedics left soon after. I reclined in bed again and nursed Eamon while the midwives worked around us. The midwife who had checked my progress at the birth centre told me that at that time, the baby had been posterior. In an hour and a half, his position had changed and he was born. Brendan ran a couple loads of laundry that included every single towel we owned. The midwives weighed the baby. They helped me shower and put on fresh clothes. They made my bed. All the while, we talked about what a crazy experience this was. Then they left, and it was just the three of us.

Brendan ordered Thai food for dinner, at my request. We called our parents, siblings, and some close friends to share our joy. We soaked in the wonder of our new boy.

The next morning, my parents brought the other boys home to meet their brother. They were ecstatic and each wanted a turn to hold the baby. My heart surged. All these little people were mine!

Over the next days and weeks, I gradually recovered from birth and we fell into the rhythm of our new reality as a family of six. Brendan had the whole summer off work, which was a blessing to all of us. It was one of the best summers of our family life. Eamon was an absolute delight from day one, and it was so nice to be able to enjoy our first summer all together in our new home.

Now Eamon is a whole year old. Like his brothers, he is walking, crawling up and down stairs, and throwing as many items as he can into the toilet, all before his first birthday. He smiles at anyone who looks at him, laughs at his brothers’ antics, and has eaten more dirt than is probably good for him. I love him so much and I can’t imagine life without him. Happy birthday, sweet Moomie!

New Year's Vacation

Our New Year’s cottagers arrived on December 30^th. I spent the next morning finishing a paper for my online class on Abnormal Psychology. I started taking the course in October because I plan to apply for the Master’s in Counseling at St. Paul’s University and I need a few more Psychology credits in order to fulfill the admission requirements. This paper was the last assignment of the course – it felt good to have successfully completed my first online course. I’m excited about pursuing this goal, one step at a time.

Fr. Simon Lobo came to celebrate Mass for us that evening and gave a great homily about Our Lady, in honour of the feast of Mary Mother of God. Mass was followed by a New Year’s Eve party that lasted into the first day of the new year. Liam stayed up until around 10pm, then asked to go to bed. I brought him home from the lodge and he fell asleep in about half a second.

Making decoration and shakers for the New Year's Eve party 

On January 1^st we prepared brunch for the cottagers, as we had done on Christmas day. After brunch, instead of a visit from Santa, we were visited by the Three Wise Guys, who also came bearing gifts.

The Three Wise Guys

Not Halloween - Liam just felt like wearing his tiger suit to do crafts that day...

As per tradition, the Cogan family gathered for dinner on New Year’s Day, this year at Granny & Grandad’s. Not everyone was present, but it was the largest gathering of the Cogan clan that I had attended in a while. The family is growing quickly, with grandkids bringing new partners into the fold and more great-grandkids on the way.

Our 2014 Christmas photo - our smiles hide the anguish we went through to snap this shot!

The cottagers stayed until Saturday the 3^rd. Since then life has resumed its regular pace. We’ve finally recovered from being sick (at least one member of the family was sick for about six weeks) and are hoping to stay healthy for the rest of the winter! Callum turned one on January 14^th and we celebrated with family the following weekend. On the 23rd I got to go out for dinner with some friends – definitely the highlight of the week! Today Brendan is busy with the Snow Bowl fundraiser he organized for Waupoos. Nearly 50 guys have been here throughout the day to play snow football, eat smoked ribs and pulled pork (prepared by award-winning BBQ master Danny Gernon!), and watch the Super Bowl. I took the boys out to watch some of the snow football. I could tell that Liam and James felt very proud to be hanging out with the guys!

My sweet one-year-old

Now begins February, the dreariest month of the year.  We do have a few things to look forward to this month, though. Our family rosary group meets next Sunday, and we’ll have cottagers here the following weekend. I’ve also taken up snowshoeing, since receiving a pair of snowshoes from Brendan for Christmas. We have the perfect venue for it here and I’ve really been enjoying going out. Finding a way to enjoy winter activities makes the season much less tiresome. Although I certainly wouldn’t complain if spring came early this year!

Snowshoeing on a sunny morning

Christmas at Waupoos

Happy New Year! Before any more of this month gets away from me, I’m sitting down to record memories of our Advent and Christmas.

We began Advent this year with a visit from Bill & Susan. They stayed with us from November 27^th to December 1^st. As always, we had a great visit and the boys loved spending time with Nana and Papa. Brendan took his parents and the two older boys into the woods to cut down our tree on Friday morning. That afternoon, we took the boys to the Bob the Builder exhibit at the Museum of History. On Saturday, Liz, Chris, and David joined us for our tree decorating party. Liam and James decorated like pros, despite Callum's attempts to undo all their work. The next day we went to another tree decorating party, this time at Brendan's cousin Hannah's place in Manotick. I think the boys had the impression that we were going to carry on decorating trees every day until Christmas!

Bringing home the tree

The following week, Brendan and I attended his office Christmas party. This was our third time going to the party, but the first time without a baby (two years ago we had 3-month-old James with us, and last year I was pregnant with Callum). I had a particularly good time this year! Actually, that day, December 12^th, ended up being a day of parties for us. The staff party was a lunchtime affair and my parents watched the boys for us. The VanDusen’ s were having their annual tree decorating party that night, so when we finished our lunch, we headed to their place to pick up the baby (the others were spending the night with Mamma and Papa Tim). When we got home we scrambled around like mad trying to get our house in order so that we could host our farm neighbours for a late raclette dinner. They arrived around 9pm and stayed well past midnight. Lee-Ann was so taken with the raclette that she bought one for her family. Brendan was quite pleased with himself for his positive influence! The following night I went to Russell’s new live music spot, The Waiting Room, to hear Jess & Joel. Cozy setting and great music – the perfect way to close the weekend. 

On December 14^th, Waupoos participated in the annual Metcalfe Christmas Parade. Liam and James were very proud to ride on the float with their friends and farm animals!

The Waupoos Board of Directors gathered for a Christmas party hosted by Susan & Mark Lamarre on December 18^th. Fr. Roy celebrated Mass for us, after which we enjoyed a delicious potluck. Susan and Mark have a lovely home and we filled it with lively conversation and laughter. Of course, it wouldn’t be a Christmas party without talking about WWII, so Brendan held forth on that topic for a good portion of the evening. (There’s a running joke in the Marshall family that Christmas wouldn’t be Christmas without some spirited discussion about the Nazis. I’ve seen this tradition enacted at every single Marshall Christmas gathering I’ve attended.)

On the third weekend of December, we had a visit from Rob and Dellica and their two boys. Liam and Ole got along famously - it was fun to see them having such a good time together. We also had our Christmas party with the Baker’s and the Gernon’s, held at our place this year. It was a tight squeeze in our little house, but we managed to contain the chaos. Twelve children ages 8 months to 7 years make for a lively evening! Our gift to the kids this year was fort kits, which Liam and James have quickly put to good use. After the Hamilton's left, Caleb and Meredith stopped by on their way to New Brunswick. Although it was short, we really enjoyed our time with them. 

On Monday the 22^nd, a very generous family came to clean all the cottages for us and help with other preparations for the Christmas holiday. Lee-Ann, Sabrina, and I sorted donated gifts and assigned them to the children who would be arriving the next day. Each family received a hamper filled with goodies (edible treats, hats, mitts, socks, small toys, etc.) as well as a wrapped gift for each member of the family. The hampers and gifts were all donated by local parishes and other community groups. It was fun to play elves, assigning gifts and wrapping them for each child. It was also moving to see the outpouring of generosity from the community. Not only did we have gifts for all the children, we were also provided with nearly every single item on our grocery list for both vacation weeks.

The Christmas cottagers arrived on the afternoon of December 23^rd. The resident men took each family out to the woods to choose a Christmas tree for their cottage, which they could trim with the decorations we provided. Orientation was at 7pm, as usual, followed by a resident family food prep extravaganza. We carved turkeys and made various other dishes for the Christmas Eve potluck, using the ample stores that had been donated for that purpose.

On Christmas Eve, the Paul’s, who were our host family for the week, ran some activities during the day, including creating a beautiful glass mosaic for the chapel window. Christmas Eve mass was at 5pm, celebrated by our friend, Fr. Maxime Allard. The ceremony began with a pageant put on by the children – a first for Liam, who played a wise man. Although James didn’t make it to the practice, he insisted on inserting himself into the performance, walking right up to the manger to take a good close look at the Baby Jesus!

The sisters of the Queenship of Mary, who came to carol for us on Christmas Eve.

The Christmas potluck was a joyous affair. We had lots of visitors and loads of food. Later that evening, when things wound down in the lodge, Brendan and I came home to prepare Christmas morning for the boys. We wrapped gifts and laid them under the tree, put out the stockings for Santa to stuff, and left some chocolates and milk for the old man to enjoy. Then we sat by the tree and talked about life for the first time in what seemed like ages. December had left us breathless but we finally found a moment of quiet, in the small hours of Christmas day.

The boys didn’t wake up any earlier than usual on Christmas morning, which was a blessing to their tired parents! There was no lounging about, however – we knew that as soon as we heard them, we’d have to jump out of bed and intercept their race to the living room, else all the presents be ripped open at once! Their faces were pure joy, and Liam repeated over and over, “This is the best Christmas EVER!” When we had finished the gift opening and played a bit with our new toys, we headed up to the lodge to help prepare the Christmas brunch. Again, the lodge was bustling with happy activity – the residents were joined by a handful of volunteers who had come to help prepare and serve brunch. We prepared a lovely spread, which was enjoyed by the cottagers later that morning. Following brunch, Santa paid us a visit and distributed gifts, to the great delight of all the boys and girls.  

Waiting for Santa (I love Clara's expression!)

Callum's first time on Santa's knee!

 That afternoon, we went to the Cogan Ranch for our family Christmas celebration. Our small group of 17 (my parents and their progeny) was joined this year by the Beaudoin clan (minus Eric, who is playing hockey for a team in Croatia, and who was missed). Dina came with her now famous assortment of appetizers, upon which we feasted until the main feast was served. My mom had been thrown a curve ball when the glass panel in her oven door shattered that morning, making it unusable for turkey roasting. Fortunately, our friends the Chesser’s, who always visit on Christmas morning, witnessed the misadventure and offered their oven. They would cook their turkey at the in-laws. So a bit of turkey shuffling saved our Christmas dinner! Broken oven notwithstanding, the meal was a great success. We lingered around the table, talking and laughing loudly, and then moved the party to the basement after the babies were put to bed (miraculously, all three of them slept!). We played bowl of nouns, as we often do when the family gathers. We always play men against women and the women always win, but this time I think the MVP was Nic Beaudoin, who gave a skilled demonstration of walking in heels, and a stirring portrayal of Mariah Carey.

Callum and Ezra enjoying their Christmas dinner

Boxing Day gave us a chance to rest a bit after the activity of the previous days. We worked some more on the glass mosaic and the kids played together. The cottagers decided that we should eat up all the Christmas leftovers, so we had another potluck that evening. The 27^th was the last day of the Christmas vacation. We gathered in the morning to share our highlights of the week, and then the cottagers packed up for home. I don’t remember what we did that evening. We probably told ourselves we would go to bed early and then stayed up too late doing nothing.

On December 29^th, we had another Cogan family gathering. The girls went out for our annual Christmas season lunch, and then the whole family gathered at my parents’ place. We played bowl of nouns again (we can’t get enough!) and the girls won by a landslide. Brendan didn’t get to do any charades because the words had all been used up before his turn, so we made him act some out just for fun. He didn’t disappoint. Although his depiction of “coffee shop” still ranks as his finest bowl of nouns moment: wide stance, knees bent in a half squat, hands in front of him about 2 feet apart, pretending to lift something (was it a cauldron?) to his mouth to drink. Is this really how you drink coffee, Brendan?!

Our next group of cottagers arrived on December 30^th. Since this is already a long entry, I’ll save New Year’s for the next post. I hope to write it sometime before spring!   

Thanksgiving

This Thanksgiving had all the right ingredients: brilliant colours, fresh air, family, and lots of food. We also had cottagers at Waupoos this weekend, for the first time since the end of summer. After the constant activity of summer cottage season, it was nice to have some down time, but this weekend reminded me of how much fun it is to be at Waupoos when cottagers are here!

This weekend was extra special for me because my friend Maxine and her 5 year-old daughter, Adélia, came for a vacation. It’s nice to meet new people here, but it’s also great to watch people you know fall in love with Waupoos. I hope that my friend and her daughter will be back. If Adélia has anything to do with it, I’m sure they will. Apparently, when her mom said something about going home at the end of the weekend, she replied with, “But THIS is our home!”

We didn’t have a host family this weekend, so the Farm Management Team took over the hosting duties. I led chapel time on Saturday morning, and Sabrina organized a cute fall craft for the kids. In the afternoon, Brendan started a game of soccer, which was followed by our traditional open house activities: wagon ride, Mass, and potluck. We had quite a few guests at the potluck - enough to polish off 50lbs of turkey!

Sunday morning we painted and carved pumpkins. In the afternoon, the Jackson’s and the Genest’s came by for a visit. We went for a walk around the property and then watched the kids play in the park. We even managed to get a picture of all the cousins!

There were no activities planned for the cottagers on Sunday evening, so I invited Maxine and Adélia for dinner. Maxine came in and swept through my house in a flurry of activity, putting toys away, doing dishes, and helping to prepare dinner. The place looked a hundred times better when she finished. I told her she could come back anytime! We had a nice visit and enjoyed watching our kids play together. Adélia only speaks French and Liam only English, but that didn’t deter them. They were inseparable all weekend. Whenever he wasn’t with her, Liam would ask when he’d get to play with Adélia again!

The cottagers left on Monday around midday. After a meeting with the farm families and afternoon naps for the boys, we went to the Genest’s for dinner. Jess and Joel served a delicious Thanksgiving spread to cap off a great weekend.

Our next event at the farm is Fall Clean-Up on Saturday, when we’ll be preparing the farm for winter. Despite it’s inevitability, I’m trying to delay the thought of winter as much as possible… yesterday’s balmy weather helped!

The farm's newest resident: Hoggle 

Summer Finale

Last Saturday we held our Summer Finale Open House. In addition to the traditional wagon ride, Mass, and potluck, we also held a tree-dedication ceremony in honour of the late John Shannon, a great friend and benefactor to Waupoos. Many of John’s family members, friends, and former colleagues joined us to celebrate his memory. Since John was so involved in the ministry of Waupoos, the event also attracted many former farm resident families who had been touched in some way by his service. It was moving to see so many people gathered for the ceremony and to have such great attendance at our Mass and potluck. After dinner, we were treated to a concert given by two local musical groups, Grace Note and the Hallelujah Gospel Choir. We also managed to raise some money for the farm through the sale of commemorative leaves, to be pinned on a tree that Sabrina had painted and displayed in the lodge. All in all a great event!

  

The next day we had a bunch of friends over to celebrate the September birthday boys, Liam, James, and our nephew, David. It rained all afternoon, but we managed to have a good time anyway. Sabrina painted kids’ faces for a solid three hours and we had a great potluck lunch, followed by a Super Disco Dance Party (Brendan’s words!)!!!

After such a full and busy weekend, it’s been nice to have some quiet days at the farm. Liam and I have started our home kindergarten and are both enjoying it. James wants to participate too, of course, so he gets to colour while we do our workbook, and listen to the stories we read.

We’re trying to savour these warm days, spending as much time outside as we can. On Wednesday we took a walk along the Mer Bleue boardwalk with some friends. The fall colours were out in all their splendour and we were there early enough that the mist was still lifting off the bog. The boys loved seeing the little spider webs stretched between bits of moss and low trees. It was both peaceful and vivifying to be surrounded by so much beauty. The boys ensured that I didn’t lose myself in contemplation though: Liam insisted on pushing Callum’s stroller, which he did haphazardly, and I never felt I could quite trust James not to jump into the marsh.

Today Brendan is busy tearing siding off our house so that new stuff can be put on next week. I’ve been gifted with some free time to write while the boys have been either playing outside or napping. Simple joys.